Keep Calm…It's Captain Swan
by once-in-a-life-time1
Summary: A series of one shots and other CS stuff. What can I say except it's Captain Swan? Do you really need another reason? WARNING: Fluffiness and possible feels, language because I can. And of course suggestive lines from our favorite devilishly handsome pirate.
1. Fan Girl

**Since I'm such a huge fan girl I thought why not make Emma one? So Castiel is my absolute favorite character in ****_Supernatural_****, along with Dean. This is just a thing I wrote last night. From now on I'm gonna keep all of my one shots in one spot. (hehe one shots in one spot.) Anyways, I would like to thank you guys for the views, following and favoriting. (If favoriting is even a word.) As usual I apologize for errors, I never was good at the grammar stuff. I unfortunately still don't own OUAT. Or Supernatural. Thanks again! Enjoy! (Ps. How many of you freaked out about the Frozen casting? Ugh I know I did. I keep telling myself I don't need it, but there's no going back once you're ****_hooked_**** on this stuff.)**

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Fan Girl

A loud shrill filled the Charming apartment, well it was Emma and Killian's apartment now. Emma's parents had moved out when her brother had arrived, a month later she asked the saucy pirate to move in with her. Being alone with a handsome pirate defiantly had its perks.

Footsteps pounded down the metal stairs, Killian stood in the main part of the loft breathing heavily, his eyes searching for Emma. Only to find her curled up in a ball on the couch with a blanket just barely draped around her; a smile drawn to her cheeks, squeals of happiness escaping her lips.

"What the bloody hell was that?" the shirtless pirate asked; his hair deliciously messy, Caribbean eyes pouring into hers, accent laid on _thick_. Just the way Emma liked it. His sweat pants were dangerously low on his waist, which filled Emma's thoughts of things she'd love to do to that pirate.

"CAS!" She squealed her attention returning to the TV. She inched towards the TV, as if the characters she'd fallen for could hear her. "You adorable little shit!" she said as Castiel was threatening the cashier about needing pie. God she loved that fallen angel; Misha Collins would defiantly be the death of her. And if it wasn't him, it'd be Jensen Ackles...mmmm she guessed you could bake cookies off of that delicious man, if not both of them.

"Emma what the hell are doing?" Killian asks a look of concern written over his face, which was adorable. How someone could go from sexy as fuck to adorable in seconds was beyond her knowledge. She gave him a quick look and shrugged guiltily."I'm sorry it's just Castiel is going to be the death of me," she sighed pushing her hair out of her face. "I swear if he doesn't stop being an adorable shit I think I might die."

"I'm sorry?" That caught Killian's attention, he didn't like the thought of Emma not being with him. Actually it scared the living shit out of him. He had lost so many people, Emma was not going to be one of them. But the look on his face said he was seconds away from calling up her parents.

"Killian it's a show. Castiel is a character in the show _Supernatural_. He's just so cute!" She squeals pulling a pillow to her face, muffling her scream of joy and kicking like a kid having a tantrum.

"Emma are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she giggles standing up to wrap her arms around her pirate's neck. "I'm just fangirling. It's really bad when I see that Misha Collins. Mmm.." she hums tangling her fingers in Killian's hair.

"Should I be concerned about this Misha lad? What kind of name is Misha anyway?" He questions, Emma laughing at his comment.

"You're cute when you're concerned." she admits pulling his lips to hers.

"Emma..." he mumbles pulling his lips away, "Who is this man?"

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you're jealous."

"Bloody hell Swan, you are _mine_ and I'm not willing to share you. Not when I've-"

"Killian Jones relax...Misha Collins is an actor." She explains pressing a finger to his luscious lips. "I've never met him and he's already married. Besides why would I want him when I've got a sex god standing right in front of me?"

"Well a certain sex god would love another round." he wiggles his eyebrows, earning a giggle from Emma. Her lips pressing onto his with a hum, they both still couldn't believe that they found each other. That they were once 'enemies'; she tied him to a tree, they climbed a fucking beanstalk, she handcuffed him (several times, maybe she was into that sort of thing), he fought with her, she knocked him out, they went to Neverland, he found her in New York, she almost lost him to a green witch bitch, they went back in time and accidentally screwed up her parents meeting. But in the end, they ended up okay. They'd been through hell and back; much like one charming Dean Winchester and a certain rebellious fallen angel Castiel.

"I love you." he mumbles, their noses brushing against each other.

"I love you too you stupid pirate. Now if you please, do what you do best and make love to me."

"As you wish."

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**Review? Favorite? Follow? Anything you wish. Any ideas you can PM me. Thanks again for reading my shit. :)**


	2. Residents Of Siam

**I've wanted to do this for a while now, bring these two into our crazy backyard full of fairytale goodness. Enjoy. Apologies for errors. Who's pumped that they are back!? ME! **

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Residents Of Siam

It had come down to this, they needed help. The Snow Queen had frozen nearly all of Storybrooke. Regina had informed Emma about two bounty hunters that might be able to help. And since Rumplestiltskin couldn't even help, the hunters were one of their only options.

The two magically talented hunters were in a practically unknown corner of town, in an Italian styled club called _Tony's_. The walls were made of crumbling red bricks, the entrance was arched with slowly freezing plants hanging around it. Emma had asked Killian to come with her, not like she had much of a choice anyways. He insisted upon being at her side when she confronted these magically talented hunters.

The room was poorly lit, smoky, and actually quite crowded. Plum lights were shining in certain directions, the although the place was an Italian styled bar, Emma got a Cirque De Freak feel. It felt like a bar for the outsiders. Which was exactly what a town full of outsiders needed.

In the most secluded corner; there sat a man wearing a top hat, his long bony fingers dancing over the eggplant orb on top of his cane. A wicked smile on his face, eyes that begged you to come closer and strike up a deal. Around his form there were multiple shadows which he occasionally talked to.

"Can I help you two?" the man asked Emma and the pirate at her side. He raised his head to give them a look of curiosity, pulling a deck of cards from the air and shuffling them.

"We're looking for two bounty hunters." Killian said, holding onto Emma's wrist.

The man let out a dark laugh from the pit of his stomach, he continues to shuffle his trade in his hand. Tapping his cane against the wooden chair, his shadows coming to life. Crawling on the ceiling and wrapping themselves around the Savior and Captain.

"What would the Savior and the infamous Captain be doing with that sort of company? You must be pretty desperate to turn to those two dolls." he hisses through his teeth, his shadows cackling in agreement.

"Just tell us where they are." Killian threatens.

"They've been expecting you two," he begins, slowly flipping one card onto the table. His shadows putting them down on the ground again. "Down the hall, the door at the end." he explains. But before the couple can leave he flicks the card over, "Watch that heart of yours Emma." he warns showing them a card with a frozen heart on it. Killian glares at the man, grabbing onto Emma's arm pulling her away from the man with the shadows and cards.

Down the hall there is loud music, women giggling, and a couple of them making a pass at Killian. Which Emma rolls her eyes at, knowing exactly where his heart lies. The two come face to face with the oldest door; the hinges just barely holding on to the frame. A flickering lightbulb hanging over it, swaying back and forth. Emma lightly pushes on the door, which opens with a piercing creak. The two glance at each other before entering the room, shutting the door carefully behind them.

A set of blue eyes appear in the darkness; the tap tap tap of nails hitting wood along with purring fills the silent frigid night. The room consists of a decaying wooden table, chains that were bolted to the sides of the dilapidated wood. Clearly keeping the bounty hunters at least at bay, but who's to say for long? Propped on top of the splintered wood lay two pairs of sparkling black heels that crossed over another. The heels themselves however were connected to long, lean, and gorgeous legs. The kind of legs that super models envied.

And the only source of light was through a single window; the luminesce from the pale blue moon pouring in through the bars.

"Look what the _cat_ dragged in Am...Do you see those two swimming around?" A purr calls from the shadows, shackles clattering at the sudden movement.

"Yessss...Perhaps we should introduce ourselves." Another purr from the shadows responds. The set of heels disappear, in its place; a hand with perfectly manicured nails bangs flat onto the table. Causing Emma and Killian both to jump. The nails curl up, shrieking against the surface, leaving its mark on the wood.

That's when two identical girls appear in the moon light. Both beautiful with piercing blue eyes that stared at them like..._Cats._ Perfect nails tapping on the table as more light came into the room. The pair were wearing leather pants, skin tight tan tanks, and of course the black heels.

"We need your help." Emma stammers.

"Please let us introduce ourselves," the two say, "Si and Am. At your service Princess." the two hiss playfully in unison.

Emma cursed internally, of course _they_ would be real too. She lets out a groan which causes Killian to turn to her.

"Ooo the Savior doesn't approve...she _laughs_ at our existence." The twin on the left cackles, nudging her twin.

"But what a nice _catch_ she has. So...young." The one on the right purrs circling Killian, escaping the shackles and now invading his personal space, finding excuses to touch him. Gliding her perfect fingers over his leather jacket, eyes flickering over his form. "Yet..." the cat purrs, "His eyes tell a different story. A much _older_ story." The other finishes for her twin. The two disappearing and reappearing as cats.

"Are you finished?" Emma snaps.

"You love him, that's good." Si, no Am. One of the two said. The twins now sitting cross legged on top of the table. Shackles gone, Emma knew it wouldn't be long. Maybe the cats were into theatricality like Mr. Cards outside.

"I'm sorry what?" Killian asked, leaning closer as if he hadn't heard.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" One twin giggles at her twin.

"Perhaps he would Si." The other responds, high fiving her sister and letting out a laugh that sounds more like a hiss. Emma nearly froze at the twin's words, how had they known about that? What she had said to Killian in Neverland? As she looked at Killian, she realized that he was thinking the same thing.

"Excuse us and our knowledge, we know quite a bit." they say together.

"Clearly." Killian mumbles.

"We don't appreciate your attitude Captain, it may work on others but not us."

"What?" He laughs weakly.

"_HE_ doesn't know Am."

"This should be interesting Si, almost as interesting as that time we stole from that babe."

"Si, Am we don't have time for this. Please can you help us." Emma pleads having enough of their games.

"Clever that Disney fellow is, isn't he Emma?" the twins say as they prance up to the rafters.

"Disney?" Killian questions. Poor Killian he hadn't the faintest clue at who Disney was, or who she once imagined him as. Her poor dark angel.

"Poor dark angel, know clue at what his love first thought of him."

"Excuse me?" Emma roars, "Did you just read my thoughts?"

"Of course one of our many capabilities." The twins say swinging their legs.

"As much as I would love to know what Swan is thinking, we don't have time for this. The Snow Queen has frozen nearly all of Storybrooke."

"Do you think of us as fools dear lieutenant? As if we hadn't noticed what the cold has done to our hair." Si snaps.

_What'd they need to do throw them a fish? Or did they need to go get a dog to bark at them?_ Emma thought.

"Your thoughts are very loud and very offensive." Am smiles raising an eyebrow at Emma as she climbs down from the rafters.

"Please." Emma pleads before the twin.

"How he puts up with her contradictory is beyond me Si."

"That is none of your business."

"Yet here you are standing with your boyfriend in front of us, asking for our help." Si purrs circling the couple as she too comes down from the rafters, both of them returning to their seats behind the desk. Propping up their legs again.

"I'm sorry when did my relationship with Killian become a topic of interest? Get the fuck out of my head or so help me I will declaw you myself."

"I like her Si," Am begins looking at her twin, then combing her long 'claws' through her long hair. "I do too, so much fire. Graham enjoyed that too."

"How dare you!" Emma roars.

"Struck a nerve did we? Have you forgotten about our favorite Huntsman?" Am purrs brushing her fingers against a nail file that suddenly appears in her hands.

"Does it look like I've forgotten?" Emma growls, her hand skimming over the shoe lace on her wrist.

"I do enjoy our games." Si nods at her sister, twirling her hair.

"This isn't a game." Killian growls stepping in front of Emma.

"Our dark angel has really got it bad wouldn't you say Am?"

"Agreed Si."

"Dark angel?"

"Not our thoughts, hers." the twins say in unison, pointing their claws at the princess.

"That's what you think of me?"

"They invaded my thoughts." She shrugs.

"Princess you know the tale, the one our dear friend Disney told." Si interrupts the couple, "You know _exactly_ how to beat our dear frozen queen." Am finishes. "Only an act of-" they both begin, leaning closer slightly.

"True love can thaw a frozen heart." Emma finishes, closing her eyes at the realization of the significance of the card.

"WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!" Killian roars, pounding on the desk in front of them.

"She has no idea does she?" Am mutters to Killian, "How much it hurt?"

"What is she talking about? Killian what are they talking about?" she gasps, grabbing onto his arm.

"How much did it hurt Captain? That year away from her, how you tried to return to your old ways. Only to fail. Why did you even try?" Si questions him, his eyes going glassy. Killian knew that the two knew the answer. Emma on the other hand was clueless. Even if she said she didn't care what happened during that year, it still happened and it hurt like hell.

"Because it was better than feeling like your heart got ripped out." he finally said, blinking hard not daring to make eye contact with any of them.

"Why Captain? Tell her what happened."

"Killian?" Emma mumbles, gazing at him. His head hanging low, eyes that were usually brilliantly blue were now sad. And she hated it, she hated seeing him sad.

"I got my heart broken." he breathes out shakily.

"And New York Captain? Can't forget about the city that never sleeps." the twins say in unison.

"When I found you in New York and you opened up that door...I looked in your eyes and you know what I saw? Nothing. You didn't have the faintest idea who I was."

"I do now. And I think you're fucking fantastic." she informs him squeezing his hand tightly.

"I love happy endings." Si sniffles.

"Me too." Am replies, "Me too."

"Will you help us?" Killian pleads returning to the subject at hand.

"Oh please we were going to help you from the second you walked into our door. We just like games a little too much."

The couple look at each other that screams; are you kidding me? They now had the Siamese Cat Twins on their side. One step closer to ending this winter wonderland.

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**Yes the Siamese Cat Twins. I think it'd be cool to see them as bounty hunters of some sort. I got the inspiration for them from a cover of the "Siamese Cat Song" by B5. TBC maybe? If something comes to mind? Reviews and prompts are welcome. Thank you for reading!**


	3. The White Swan

**I was scrolling through my one shot prompt ideas. For inspiration and what not. And I saw something that got me thinking about something else. (Don't worry this is Captain Swan related I promise) **

**A beautiful and very heartbreaking wedding scene in Gossip Girl. It's between Chuck and Blair right before she is to marry Louis, in the dressing room which is where I got the inspiration for this. If you haven't seen it...please do, it's so heartbreaking even if you haven't seen the show. So without further a do, I apologize if it turns out shitty. **

**NOTE: This is in the Enchanted Forest. I think? Whatever seems more natural. **

**Enjoy!**

_The White Swan_

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She should've been excited, thrilled, no...She should've felt right. But there was something in the pit of Emma Swan's gut that felt wrong as she stood there in front of that full length mirror. A girl who had once cried herself to sleep for wanting her parents so bad, was now a girl in a fucking wedding dress with her family waiting for her outside that door.

A strapless white and very large dress, flowed down her figure. Her curves being hugged by the criss crossing of the front of the dress, her long blonde hair curled, everything is perfect. Only it wasn't, Emma felt trapped, kind of like the corset of the dress. Emma felt like a bird trying to fly away from it's cage, getting married shouldn't feel like this. She lets out a long sigh and sits down, resting her chin on her hand. Bouncing her knee up and down as she tries to keep back her tears. _It shouldn't be like this, I'm marrying Neal for gods sakes_. _I'm happy with him, he's Henry's father. They why do I feel like shit?_

_It's because you don't have him._ A voice whispers in her ear, instantly knowing who _him_ was referring to. Her pirate; her beautiful, wonderful, infuriating, supportive, amazing, pirate. She runs her fingers through her loose curls, trying not to mess it up too much. Mary Margret-Her_ mom_ would have a fit if she did. Then there's a knock at her door, the door slowly opening and quietly closing.

"Hi." An accented angel says, her heart breaking as she looks up to see Killian wearing a black suit. His hair tousled just perfectly, eyes blue as ever. Eyes that showed her love and compassion. But they were secretly breaking, which is what they both were doing. Breaking.

"You shouldn't have come." _lie. You wanted him here._

"I know that love, but I couldn't miss out on seeing a beautiful swan."

"What do you want?" She attempts to keep back the tears, but the moment her eyes meet his, a single tear falls from her eyes.

"No, no, no, no." He mutters, stooping down to her level. Wiping away her tears with his thumb. "A bride as beautiful as you shouldn't be crying."

"What's wrong with me?" She sniffles, wiping away more tears.

"Nothing darling, you're perfect."

"Psh, please. I am not fucking perfect."

"But you are."

"What are you doing here Killian?"

"I needed to give you something." He sighs, pulling out a simple aquamarine necklace from his pocket. The shimmering blue gem resembling his ocean like eyes as he looks at her.

"Just something for you to remember me by." he shrugs. She could never forget him, even if she wanted to she couldn't. She couldn't forget their adventure up the beanstalk, she couldn't forget the way his lips felt against hers, the way his presence lifted up her spirits, how her heart stopped every time they looked at each other. She just could not forget _him_.

"I could never forget you."she mumbles. He smiles weakly, pushing her perfect hair out of the way.

"Give me a hand love?" He asks, earning a weak laugh from her. She takes the loop end of the necklace from him, allowing him to click the clasp through the loop after a few tries. His warm breath is shaky as it hits her neck, placing a light kiss against her exposed shoulder. Slowly she turns around to face him, his proximity overwhelming both of them. _Close but not close enough_.

"I don't mean to upset you Emma, but I think we make a pretty good team."

"Thank you." She nods, ignoring his last statement. They were a good team, they'd be fools to deny it.

"You're welcome." He gulps as he retreats to the door, stopping right before his only hand touches it. He turns around and gazes at her with glassy eyes. "Don't marry him." He mutters.

"Killian..."

"Don't marry him." He repeats, taking a step closer towards her.

"I love him Killian. He's Henry's father and..."

"Can you look me in the eye, and tell me you love him more than me?" He asks, grabbing onto her hand. His eyes begging her to look at him and his breaking heart.

"You know I love you." She sighs, refusing to make eye contact with him.

"Then don't marry him, we could leave this place. Just the two of us, we can go where ever you want to go."

"You know I can't do that Hook." she whimpers, her fingers fidgeting.

"Don't-Don't do that to me. Not now." He groans at the sound of his old moniker. "Do you know how much it hurts," He begins taking another step closer towards her. "To hear my moniker escape your lips, when I've heard you moan my name into my ear?" His words were slow and thick against his lips, making sure to enunciate each one.

"Killian."

"I love you Emma, and if loving you means letting you go, I'll do it."

"What will you do?" She gulps, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"I have no intention of staying to see you marry another man. I think it's time for me to bow out gracefully don't you think? No point in staying if there's nothing here for me."

"Every one you know is here." Emma reminds him, finally making eye contact with him. Only to break her heart even more. _Stupid move Emma._

"Aye, but my home is the sea. Nothing can really keep me from her." _Lie, she was his home. _

"You're such a liar Killian Jones." She laughs.

"What makes you think I'm lying?"

"Please, I know you."

"And I you Swan. What do you say Emma? One for the road?" He growls, grabbing onto her neck and pulling her closer to him. Their lips meeting for a searing kiss; lips moving perfectly against each other. A slight moan escaping Emma's lips as she wraps her arms around his neck, his hand roaming over her body.

"What I would do to make love to you one more time..." He moans against her lips, kissing her neck carefully as her back hits a wall. Moving his lips over he exposed skin marking it as his.

"Mine." He mutters as he kisses her, "You are mine Emma."

Emma lets out a moan of pleasure as he bites carefully against her neck, grasping his face and pulling him back to her lips. Her hands roam over the edges of his jacket, slipping it off of his broad shoulders.

"Making love to a man who's not your fiancé on your wedding day? Not very princess like." He smiles.

"Shut up Jones, when have you ever known me as the proper princess type?"

"Never."

"Lock the door." she commands him.

"Yes…_my_ gorgeous White Swan."

* * *

Tears fall from her eyes as she sat in the dressing room, in her wedding dress, dreaming of her pirate making love to her one more time. He wasn't there, he wasn't coming. Why would he? She was getting married. That's when there's a knock at her door, her heart skipping thinking it was him. Her father steps in, looking absolutely handsome.

"Hi." she sniffles, wiping her tears. David closes the door quietly behind him, walking towards her without a word. He glances down at her who was refusing to make eye contact. With good reason too.

"You love him don't you?" he finally said.

"What?" she mumbles looking up at her father with tear stains on her cheeks.

"Hook. Killian. You love him don't you?"

"Of course I love him, I love him so much that it hurts. It hurts so much that a shot to the heart would be considered child's play. And if being in love with him isn't heaven then I don't think it even exists." she cries not daring to make eye contact with her father. He stoops down in front of her and lifts up her chin.

"Then I think the answer is clear. Don't marry Neal."

"I have to."

"Henry will understand, your mother and I will understand, Neal will too. You deserve a happy ending, and if Killian is included-"

"Emma, they're ready for you." her mother chirps.

"Emma you-" her father begins.

"I'm ready. Lets go." she says wiping her tears away.

Her father takes her arm as the double doors open, the sea of people gazing at her. Neal standing at the end waiting for her, tears once again forming in her eyes. As her father passes her over to Neal, he gives her a look that asks her 'will you truly be happy?' she nods as she takes Neal's hands.

This was it, she was marrying Neal. Her dark angel was no where to be found, and she missed him. She missed his stupid innuendos, his crooked smirk, his tousled raven hair, the accent that made her knees weak...But most of all she missed his eyes. Those perfect ocean blue eyes that marked her as his. And his alone. The eyes that guided her through the darkness, comforted her, told her that everything was going to be okay.

"If anyone objects to this marriage, let them speak now or forever hold their peace." Blue says interrupting Emma's thoughts. Her eyes turning to the door; that's when he runs into the room, breathless, and handsome as ever. Suit and all. But when he sees everyone else he backs away slowly, his head hanging low. Right before he's out of sight...

"I do." her father says standing proud, gasps filling the room. Killian turning back around and standing in the frame of the door.

"Charming?" Mary Margret questions.

"Dad?" she stumbles, as David walks down the isle and next to Killian.

"Me, my daughter, and Captain Killian Jones." he announces giving Killian a smile. Whispers fill the room, secretly Emma's heart was soaring.

"My daughter is a beautiful, strong, smart, independent and amazing woman. She's also stubborn. Just like her father," he chuckles as he spoke, "But she's also like her mother; she fell in love with someone who is not from a royal blood line. Once upon a time, I was a shepherd but my wife loves me all the same." he continues making his way to the center of the isle with Killian still next to him.

"Is he serious?" Neal mumbles, a snicker threatening to fall from his lips. Emma drops Neal's hands at that and stands there with her arms folded, eyes glued on her father and Killian.

"Emma with your permission I'd like to repeat what you told me." David requests, "No? Too bad I'm going to say it anyway." he smiles, earning him an look from Emma, "Moments ago; I asked my daughter if she loved this man. Killian Jones. And you know what she said?" he asks looking around the silent room as he continued his unnecessary speech. "She said; of course I love him, I love him so much that it hurts. It hurts so much that a shot to the heart would be considered child's play. And if being in love with him isn't heaven then I don't think it even exists."

The room is silent, so silent that you would've thought no one was in there. Emma and Killian's eyes are bolted on to each other, just them and no one else. Love pouring from their eyes.

"This is ridiculous," Neal bellows breaking the silence. "I will not have a _pirate_ ruin this day. "

"Neal." her father says glaring at him. "Step. Down."

"Have you _really _made your choice Emma?" Neal grits through his teeth, glaring at her through his eye lashes.

"I love him." she breathes, walking away from Neal and towards her handsome pirate. David steps aside returning to his spot next to Mary Margret. Killian and Emma come face to face, her fingers entangling themselves in his hair, his callused fingers on her cheek.

"I love you." he gasps.

"I love you too. Now kiss me you fucking pirate." she groans pulling him to her lips. The most powerful blast of magic anyone has ever seen fills the room. The blast bounces off the walls as her arms wrap around his neck bringing him closer. His arm pull on her waist arching her back into his body. They back away with a gasp, the room around them silent. But neither of them cared for all they knew it was just them. Killian and Emma. Emma and Killian.

"Now that's what I call a happy ever after." David mutters to his wife, who elbows him to shut up.

"Never let go." she whispers into Killian's ear.

"Never dream of it _my_ love."

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**To those who are reading ****_The Swan and The Scribe..._**** I am so sorry for the delay but for some reason this chapter is being a pain. Thankfully I am done work for the summer which gives me time to work things out.**

**Hope you liked this...Thank you so much for your support and your time.**

**Hasta La Pasta**


	4. Xscape

**After leaving my phone unlocked with my fanfiction open (smut I might add) and having my father read a part of it out loud, I am completely mortified. So after telling my best friend about this, (she laughed at this. so did I afterwards) I discussed what friends are for: to laugh at these moments with you and to make sure you don't so stupid things ****_alone_****. So it came down to this thing I saw a couple years ago:**

**Your friend will be the one who bails you out of jail, your ****_best_**** friend will be the one next to you going "Damn we screwed up."**

**You can imagine where this is going; lyrics from the song Xscape by: Michael Jackson.**

* * *

Xscape

_Everywhere I turn, no matter where I look_

_The systems in control, it's all ran by the book_

_I've got to get away so I can free my mind,_

_Xscape is what I need,_

_Away from electric eyes_

* * *

Well this fucking sucked; her blonde hair was in a rats nest, make-up running, high heels on the ground and muddy beyond repair. She didn't really mind, they weren't her favorite ones anyway. Her dress was rumpled and out of place. _He_ too was a mess; hair sticking up in every which way, his tie hanging loose around his neck, fingers shaking, suit ripped slightly, a couple of buttons missing. He sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair; they sat in silence on the bed in the single cell. She glared over at him, emerald eyes piercing his soul.

"Well I'd say we screwed up love." he chuckled lightly trying to lighten up the mood. Earning himself another glare that shut that infuriating pirate of hers up. He awkwardly scratched the back of his ear, then played with the ring on his newly returned left hand.

"_We_? What about me Killian? I'm the sheriff! How do you think everyone back home will feel when we get back? I'm supposed to be a person enforcing the law, how can I do that if I end up in jail with you?"

"Would you rather be alone in a cell?" he muttered.

"So _not_ funny Killian." she glared at him, bringing her hand to her face.

"Emma I look at it like this; we're together, we're okay, we've gotten out of worse situations darling. We'll be fine." he tells her wrapping his arm around her, drawing small circles on her right shoulder.

"I'm never listening to you again." she groaned leaning her head on his shoulder. It wasn't all his fault; they had been heading home from a restaurant and they were a little tipsy. So the horny newly weds that they were, they thought it would be brilliant to have a round in the bushes. Long story short; the got caught. The restaurant wasn't in Storybrooke, thank gods, cause that would be a long and embarrassing story to tell her parents.

"Never thought I'd see the inside of a jail cell again."

"Well my love, you have your dashing husband with you this time." he winked, placing a kiss to her head. She smiled weakly as she laced her fingers through his.

"Dashing is one word for you." she mumbled with a chuckle.

"Oi! What would you call me then?" he questioned raising an eyebrow as if challenging her to spill. Although they had been married for two months they still loved playing these cat and mouse games. They probably would for the rest of their lives.

"Infuriating for one." she scoffed, relinquishing his hand so she can fold her hands together and hold herself close. She was acting like a teenager with a crush, hell she felt like she was with her prom date and everything had gone wrong. She never had this as a teen, so her relationship with Killian made up for everything she missed out on. Make out session on the couch and being caught by her parents, making love in the back seat of the car fear of being caught. Just being free from everything.

"Anything else my love?" he nudged her playfully kissing her cheek.

"A devilishly _handsome _scoundrel."

"Bout bloody time you admit it." he said kissing her nose.

"Shut up pirate."

"Ah but I'm _your_ pirate." he chuckled booping her nose, her nose scrunching at the contact.

"That you are, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Bloody hell, when are they going to let us out?" he hissed pushing on his knees, getting up and stumbling over to the door, "OI! Is anyone out there?!"

"Killian calm down, we're probably gonna have to spend the night."

"Fucking hell I am _not_ spending a night with my wife in a cell. I'm going to get us out of this." he growls, which unfortunately turns her on. _Now was not the time._

**"**Come on Killian relax." she pleaded cocking her head to the side, telling him to come sit back down.

"No Swan I will not relax."

"It's _Jones_ now." she laughed leaning back on the bed. Killian's electric eyes meeting hers with awe, as if he were the luckiest man in the world. He sighs going down to his knees, placing his hands on her knees. They lean forward to place a slow kiss on each other's lips.

"I will never tire of you saying that love." he murmured as their lips parted.

"Move aside Mr. Jones, I'm getting us out of here." she huffed hoping up, removing a safety pin from her hair and begins picking the lock.

"Gods I love you." he groaned moving away so she could work on the lock, but knowing him he couldn't keep his hands off of her. He crouches down next to her, pushing her long blonde curls to the side. Softly kissing her neck, stubble scratching against her skin which only reminded her of another place his stubble has scratched her. _Now was really not the time._

"Hon now is not the time."

"Sorry."

"No you're not." she scoffs rolling her eyes.

"You're right love, I'm not. It's not my fault I can't keep my hands off of you."

With Killian still kissing her neck, then down to her shoulder she finally manages to open the lock. Nearly falling over when the door creaks open. Killian gets up and scoops her up in his arms kissing her passionately.

"You're bloody brilliant, amazing."

"Now lets get out of here." she laughs when he puts her down, placing one last kiss on his lips.

"I couldn't agree more, shall we my love?" he asks offering his arm, she giggles looping her arm through his.

"Yes we shall. Lets go home."

* * *

**So what'd you think? For those reading The Swan & The Scribe, I hit a massive wall and I apologize for the delay. Thank you all so much for the support, reviews, views in general hope to see you all soon! Hasta La Pasta!**


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